A Disassociated Press Report, February 26, 2012, London, UK
The Durex condom company today announced production of its new Santorex line, a special product developed in response to the "troubling turn we're seeing in the US Republican primaries," said company president Derrick Schafft.
The Santorex will be produced and sold in single-use packets in the US. The new condom has been specially designed to fit over Republican contender Rick Santorum's head, and is intended to "prevent the spread of idiotic soundbites and extremist nonsense," said a company spokesman.
"We envision users attending either GOP debates or Santorum rallies," said Schafft. "We're hoping they will step forward and pull the condom down over the candidate's head. Our testing shows the new condom is 97% effective in preventing seepage of moronic remarks."
The Santorex will be sold in regular, ribbed and raspberry versions. "We're hoping the raspberry version may attract bees," said Schafft.